you are the light for me to follow
by Tiara of Sapphires
Summary: After years of knowing and loving each other, Jyn and Cassian finally have their first real date. For the Rebelcaptain Network Valentine Exchange! Prompt for hopeandstardust: Jyn and Cassian have a proper date.


**For the RebelCaptain Valentine Gift Exchange! For hopeandstardust's prompt: Jyn and Cassian have a proper date. Hopefully I did it justice! 3**

 **Enjoy!**

 **Disclaimer: I don't own Star Wars or its characters. I just like to mend my wounds with fic…**

…

Cassian never really had the chance to fully worship the gods on Fest—the names murmured in supplication by parents who left him before he could truly understand what death or religion actually meant—but this time, this one crucial time, he prayed to them, that this one thing would work out for once.

"I don't understand why you are so stressed about this," Kaytoo droned from the corner of Cassian's quarters.

There were many times where the droid grated on his nerves. This was definitely one of them. He was stressed, sure, but he didn't need Kaytoo to tell him that.

He was going on a date with Jyn Erso in a few hours. This fighter, this woman he had known through a seemingly endless war.

They were going on a date. Like normal people.

"You have fornicated with Commander Erso approximately 284 times since you met her," Kaytoo continued, "There is no plausible reason why you are acting in this way."

Cassian turned in horror, dresser forgotten. Kaytoo's faceplate and glowing white eyes gave nothing away, but Cassian knew that if Kaytoo were human, he'd be smirking.

"You've been keeping track?"

The slightest tip of Kay's head was the only sign of emotion from him.

"Yes. It is in my protocols to make sure you don't die. And human mating is a very dangerous task, especially in a war zone."

But the war was over. The Emperor and Darth Vader were dead, the Second Death Star nothing more than a heap of dust, the vestiges of the Empire slowly being driven to the corners of the Unknown Regions.

And Kaytoo wasn't wrong, damn him. It wasn't like they were a couple of kids—they never got to be kids—going on a date for the first time, never having even held hands before. He and Jyn were two grown adults, two war veterans who had slept with each other multiple times—hundreds, by Kaytoo's estimations—going on a date for the first time.

Force take it. This was going to be a disaster.

"Kay, if you don't have anything useful to say, shut up."

"Very well."

Cassian turned back to his dresser and pulled out a few pieces of clothing.

"That shirt decreases your chances of fornicating tonight with Commander Erso by approximately 5 percent."

" _Kay!_ "

…

She was supposed to meet him at 1900 hours.

The chrono flashed 1857. So, Jyn had time to show up before she was late. And there was no logical reason why Cassian would care so much about what time Jyn would show up.

He could almost hear Kaytoo musing and muttering, giving predictions about the weather, the species of the waiter, what Jyn would be wearing.

But Cassian had kicked Kaytoo out several minutes earlier. Kaytoo knew full well why he was sent out, but that didn't stop him from complaining.

Now the chrono flashed to 1900 hours.

One second, two seconds, no knock.

As a hardened soldier, Cassian wasn't worried about this. This was nothing compared to what he had gone through.

As a man who could count his close relationships with living, breathing people on one hand, Cassian was extremely worried about this.

By the Force, she was only a few rooms down. The Rebellion's frat-regs made it so they were given separate rooms in this hotel, though they often ended up sleeping in the same room anyway.

A minute late.

Was he supposed to meet her at her room? Did they establish where they were going to meet? He couldn't remember. The stupor of victory, of being on solid ground, of knowing that there was a future had blurred the memory his request to take her out on a date.

1902 flashed and Cassian started towards the door, thinking to meet Jyn at her room. That was the gentlemanly thing to do, right?

Cassian almost crashed into Jyn, who looked like she was in the middle of knocking on the door. Jyn made a surprised sound as Cassian staggered back, half in a sudden nervous disorientation and half just so he could take her in.

Radiant, beautiful, stunning.

A black dress that fell just above her knee, neckline low enough that he could see the tops of her breasts, her kyber crystal pendant resting on her chest as it always did. Her hair draped in gentle waves down her back and over her shoulders. She was wearing make-up and he noticed because he had looked at her face enough times to know the difference.

Adjectives in half a dozen languages he could use to describe her and all the could come out of his mouth was, "Jyn—you—ah."

 _Smooth, Cassian._

Heat seemed to consume his face. Force, he was like a child again. But he must have telegraphed what he meant well enough because Jyn smiled.

"You don't look so bad yourself," she teased.

He glanced down at himself in reflex. A green button-up, black slacks, and a jacket. Neither of them looked like soldiers anymore, at least not from far away.

He could see the pock-mark scar of a blaster wound on the curve of her shoulder, the yellowed bruises spread on her collarbone. Cassian still had a pistol tucked in his pocket.

Old habits die hard.

Jyn closed the space between them, rising on her tip-toes and kissing him lightly on the lips.

"Shall we?" she asked.

Cassian thought about foregoing the date entirely, the reservation, his plan, and just taking her to bed right then. He could try to kiss away the war, the hurt, the fear. But that would make it just like any other night, wouldn't it?

He offered her his arm. She rested her arm in the crook of his elbow as he lead her toward the elevator.

"Come on."

It was a gift in itself to be given leave on Coruscant. Nobody really had a chance to take a break between the first and second Death Stars getting blown up. After that, leave was typically a day or two to laze around the base or the nearby villages.

And that was the environment that their relationship started and grew in. A lot of running and hiding, a lot of rushed and frantic fumbling between missions. But it had been almost 5 years since Scarif, since their first close brush with death together—one of many.

Now they were on Coruscant, victors of a war they were so sure they would never see the end of. Fairly anonymous victors, at that. Names like Organa and Solo and Skywalker and Calrissian were on everyone's lips, not Andor and Erso.

"I haven't been here since I was really little, you know? On Coruscant." Jyn murmured.

"Really?"

"My family had an apartment near the Emperor's palace. Before we left."

'Left' meant 'ran away'. Cassian had heard what came next a hundred times.

She shrunk against him a little, as if to ward off a bad memory. Cassian often woke up to that: Jyn clinging onto him in her sleep, her arms vice-like around his abdomen, in the throes of a nightmare.

The Emperor's palace and the surrounding Imperial offices had been sacked and almost burned to the ground after the second Death Star was destroyed. If Cassian tried hard enough, he could still smell the smoke.

He wanted to bring that up. As a vindication, a comfort. But the words caught in his throat and he could only squeeze her arm.

 _I know. I understand._

They kept walking through the streets. The air felt unnaturally stagnant and filtered, but that was one of the hallmarks of the planet that Cassian was quick to pick up on. The other option was choking on the pollution that came with a planet-sized city, so he wasn't going to complain.

Celebrations of the Rebellion's victory had ceased days earlier, but confetti was still mixed in with scraps of garbage in the streets. Vendors sold their goods with Rebel insignia emblazoned proudly.

Where was that support when people were spilling blood on a hundred worlds, trying to fight for freedom?

It was Cassian's turn to stiffen, to need some kind of comfort to prevent him from tearing those stalls down and burning them.

The vendors came and went, but Cassian's blood still simmered a little. Jyn didn't seem to notice, or refused to notice.

Finally, they made it.

He was careful about picking the restaurant, with a little—okay, more than a little—help from Kaytoo's algorithms. Good quality, not too cheap, not too expensive. He was good at stretching his stipend as far as it could go.

The doors slid open before them and the smell of Coruscanti food—an amalgamation from a hundred different worlds—hit like a wave.

They were greeted by a droid, shiny chrome plating glinting under the lights.

"I have a reservation," Cassian said. "Under 'Andor'."

The droid tilted its head, like it was thinking. Kaytoo did that as well, but he was always tried to make it as subtle as possible.

"Ah, yes. My records do indicate a reservation under that name. Andor, ma'am, follow me."

He escorted them further into the restaurant.

It felt strange, using his given name so freely. Not that many knew who he was to begin with. His real name was practically an alias from how little he used it.

She was still daughter of Galen Erso and that name was enough to bring homicidal thoughts in plenty of people. She carried the burden of her family's name, no amount of penance able to wipe clean what that name helped wrought onto the galaxy.

One day, Cassian could change that.

Whoa, where did that thought come from?

Jyn nudged him, getting his attention.

"You got reservations," she murmured, sounding impressed.

"This place I heard is usually pretty crowded," he replied, forcing those traitorous thoughts from his head. "I wanted to make sure we could get a table."

The droid led them to a little table, just far enough away from the bulk of the crowds around the bar and holovisions that the noise wasn't too overwhelming.

Cassian pulled out her chair for her and she sat down, grinning up at him.

"Ever the gentleman."

The droid handed them the menus and poured water into their glasses.

"I will be back shortly to take your orders," it said before hovering away.

To have options and a guaranteed hot meal were luxuries that they were lucky to partake in.

For months and years, the unspoken rules were simple. You ate what was given to you, no questions asked. In a war zone, it could be days between warm meals so, if you don't eat, someone else will eat your portion for you. Deal with the hunger, the ever-present gnawing and the cavern-like emptiness. You stomached the stale ration packs and vitamin supplements and the less-than-clean water when supplies ran thin.

"Have you decided?" Jyn asked after a few minutes.

"I think so. Have you?"

"Yeah."

Cassian waved over the waiter droid and they ordered. Jyn smoothly pronounced the complicated name of the dish she wanted—a stew-like dish native to Mon Calamari.

His choice was easier to pronounce: a spice-filled meat dish from one of Corellia's moons.

Cassian had already resigned himself to waiting for a little while. The restaurant was definitely busy that night, likely similar to just about any night.

The holovision just over Jyn's shoulder displayed some kind of sport, too far away for Cassian to tell which sport it was or who was winning. Regardless, dozens had their eyes glued to the screen, raucous shouts and cheers erupting every few second.

Cassian glanced back to Jyn.

Her attention had wandered as well, eyes scanning the other restaurant-goers. Whether it was out of genuine curiosity or constant vigilance or a combination of both, he couldn't tell.

Neither of them were particularly on edge. They were just ready for anything.

While the soldier never really left them, it felt so normal and so right for them to be there. In another life, this probably would've been a monthly occurrence. A man taking the woman he loves—really, he can't express how much she means to him—to dinner. No fear, no war.

He watched her. She was good at making sure no one could tell she was listening in to their conversations, but he could see the tiny twitch of her lips when someone said something amusing.

He could watch her forever and never get bored.

"You're beautiful," Cassian said, breaking the silence.

That got her attention, her eyes snapping to his, equal parts of surprise and disbelief crossing her face.

"Flatterer."

He shook his head. "I mean it. Not just now, but all the time."

"Really?"

"Really."

She was skeptical. That much was obvious.

"Even—."

"Yes, Jyn."

He wasn't sure what scenario she was going to drum up, but he wasn't going to hear anything about it. She was beautiful, everywhere, all the time.

Jyn barreled on, mischief lighting her eyes. "Even on Taasett?"

Cassian groaned.

Of course, she had to bring that particular mission up.

Between Hoth and Endor, chasing a scrap of intel that eventually panned out to nothing, 'Rogue One'—the ship's occupants unfortunately referred to as the "Miracle Team of Scarif"—set out to Taaset. Cassian had been on enough planets to not be surprised by anything, but this was a deserted backwater of a backwater.

While the bioreadings showed an awful lot of life on the planet's surface, they couldn't see any Imperial outposts that the intel had stated there were.

Their orders were to investigate, so they landed. But, Bodhi just _had_ to land the ship on the edge of a slime marsh. Not that they could tell at the time. The ground had some give to it when they landed, but that wasn't surprising.

What _was_ surprising was when Cassian and Jyn stepped off the ship, walking a handful of steps forward, the ground—which was a thin layer of leaves and lichen—giving out and sending the two of them into a hitherto unseen pond of vibrant green goop.

Really, Jyn had been half a step ahead of him and should've been the only one to land in that pond, but as she started to fall, she had wheeled back and grabbed onto Cassian's shirtsleeve to keep her balance. It didn't stop her from falling, only succeeding in pulling him in as well.

Baze had a real kick out of it, watching from the safety of the ship's lowered ramp, howling with laughter, while Chirrut offered his staff to get the two dirty wretches back onto the ship.

As if the texture of the thrice-damned slime hadn't been bad enough, the _smell_ quickly filled the ship's cockpit. Kaytoo was blissfully ignorant, if not gleefully amused, while the five humans on the ship suffered through the rest of the mission breathing through their mouths to avoid smelling any more of Taasettian 'flora' than necessary.

Cassian sighed and shook his head. "Jyn, we're about to eat."

She waved her glass, taking a sip.

"See, told you."

"You were beautiful even then, Jyn," Cassian protested.

"We didn't have sex for almost a week after that."

She glanced over his shoulder, perhaps to see if any of the people nearby were listening to their conversation.

Cassian leaned forward. "Because we both smelled like death, no matter how many trips to the 'freshers we made!"

The droid waiter returned with their plates at that moment, giving no indication that it heard or cared to hear about what they were talking about.

"Enjoy," it deadpanned, before floating away.

Jyn glanced at Cassian's meal and huffed a laugh. He rolled his eyes. The meat he ordered—from some pack animal native to the Mid-Rim—was doused in some fragrant sauce that had a unsettlingly familiar color. What a coincidence. It was clear the universe hated him.

Jyn's mouth was full of seafood, so she didn't bring anything up.

Silence stretched as they ate. It wasn't strange for them to be quiet while they shared meals. They never talked while they ate in the mess halls or took meals in their quarters or in the medical bay.

And as usual, Jyn finished before him and alternated between watching the people around them and watching him eat. More specifically, watching his plate with an almost childish amusement. Cassian refused, utterly refused, to address the bantha in the room.

"You know—."

And she was addressing it.

"Jyn."

"You know, that sauce kind of looks like—"

"The swamps of Taasett, I know. Jyn, please. Can we not talk about it?"

Jyn covered a giggle with a cough into her glass.

"So sensitive."

His spoon clinked against the plate as he scooped up another piece of meat, struggling to not think about the smell of detritus and rotting plants.

"Somebody's going to be sensitive by the end of the night," Cassian grumbled.

Jyn arched a brow and leaned forward.

Heat rose to his face, having nothing to do with the spices in his meal.

"Is that a promise?"

…

Jyn's back hit the door of Cassian's room as soon as the lock clicked. He toed off his shoes, one hand cupping the back of her neck and the other braced around her waist to press their bodies together.

Her breath puffed over his lips for a moment before Cassian leaned down and kissed her.

They had been keyed up since leaving the restaurant, even before leaving. Cassian couldn't pay fast enough, they couldn't walk fast enough.

For once, they were normal and, Force, it was a victory worth celebrating.

Her hands pushed his jacket off of his shoulders, separating their bodies for a moment so he could shrug it off. She grabbed the lapels of his shirt and started backing them up.

"Bed," she hissed against his mouth.

Cassian was happy to oblige, letting her walk him backwards toward the bed. With a light push from Jyn, he sat down, bouncing slightly. Jyn was on him immediately and straddled his legs. Her dress hiked up her thighs, her skin like fiery brands everywhere she touched him.

"Let's make merry, hm?" she said. Steady fingers undid the buttons of his shirt, her mouth finding that strip of skin at the base of his throat.

Cassian grabbed her, pulling her closer until their hips slotted together. Jyn rocked her hips in answer, making it all the more difficult for Cassian to string a coherent sentence together.

Instead, his hand groped for the zipper in her dress. Finally getting it loose, he pulled it over her head, leaving her in her bra and panties.

"You know, I wanted to peel you out of this dress all night," he muttered.

His shirt was hanging off of his shoulders at this point and Jyn took every opportunity to run her hands over his skin, alternating between the pads of her fingers and the tips of her fingernails.

Jyn exhaled a laugh as he planted kisses along the side of her neck. "I was surprised you didn't—ah!—drag me into the nearest alley and take me against a wall."

He couldn't help but buck his hips up at the thought.

"Would you have liked that?" he rasped into her collarbone, scraping his teeth against the delicate curve.

"Cassian, I like you anywhere."

With a smooth motion, he had them flipped so Jyn was on her back and he was nestled between her legs.

Somewhere between sloppy and desperate kisses, Jyn's bra disappeared and Cassian immediately palmed one breast while his mouth toyed with the other.

She smelled like sweat and soap, an intoxicating combination that he could never get used to.

Jyn wiggled out of her panties, leaving her gloriously naked underneath him.

Cassian replaced the discarded cloth with his fingers, cupping her mound and teasing a finger over her clit. Jyn arched into the tease, silently demanding more.

He slipped one finger inside her warm tightness and he groaned at the feeling, already wanting to be inside of her. A second finger joined, scissoring and pumping.

Jyn sighed his name, tucking her face into his neck, mouthing at the skin there.

Cassian ground his clothed erection against her thigh, desperate for friction. He was straining in his pants, hard almost to the point of pain.

"Let me help you," Jyn breathed, what was probably supposed to be coy teasing sounding more out of breath and desperate.

Each brush of her hand against the front of his pants as she undid the button and zipper was agony until finally she managed to push his pants down his hips. He pushed his pants and underwear down the rest of the way, his cock released from its confines.

Her fingers threaded through his hair, pulling him back up to eye-level.

"No more waiting."

Jyn wrapped her legs around his hips, pulling him closer. His cock pressed against her heat, skin-on-skin punching a grunt out of his mouth.

"Alright, message received."

Cassian pulled back slightly, using his hand to line himself up before sinking in. Apparently, he wasn't doing it fast enough because Jyn pushed her hips down to meet him.

"Fuck," he hissed.

He rolled his hips, mindful of letting her adjust to the stretch. Slow and shallow rocking, torture for him as much as it was for her.

"Cassian."

Her nails bit into his shoulders, digging and scratching as she impatiently squirmed against him.

"Yes, love?"

He thrust once, bottoming out and staying there. Every movement she made was sweet agony but he made himself hold still. Jyn huffed and whined against his mouth.

"Dammit, Cassian. _Harder_."

She tightened around him, using her strength to let him know that him holding back was not appreciated. Cassian tucked one arm underneath her hips, tilting her body up, and thrust into her again.

He set the pace, slow and hard, making sure Jyn could feel every inch of him. She wasn't a passive player; she never was. Instead, she rocked down in tandem with him, bringing him deeper inside of her, shifting to get the angle just right.

His free hand wandered over her body, over her abdomen and her breasts. She always liked the feeling of the callouses on his hands.

"You feel so good," she whispered.

She lifted herself a little on her arms and kissed him, frantic and messy.

Cassian could only groan against her mouth, the feeling of her body rendering him almost incoherent.

He hooked one arm around her knee and hitched her leg up, deepening his thrusts. His mouth found her collarbone again, this time sucking a mark that was definitely going to linger for a few days.

Jyn keened, grabbing at his hair, raking her fingers down his back.

"F—fuck, Cassian, I'm close."

He moved a hand where their bodies were joined, determined to get Jyn off before he did. She bucked and writhed underneath him, keeping a death-grip on his wrist as he rubbed her clit.

She came with a wordless cry, clinging to him as he fucked her through her orgasm.

Cassian was close. He could feel his release building at the base of his spine, curling around his balls, making his thrusts more erratic. Jyn tightened around him to goad him on and he groaned.

"Come on, Cassian."

He shuddered, grinding his hips up, falling over the edge.

"I love you," he gasped.

Jyn moaned softly as he pulsed and emptied inside of her, still rocking slowly against her.

Cassian pulled away slightly to look at Jyn. Her lips were swollen from kissing and there was a blush high on her cheeks and sweat clung to her skin. She smiled up at him and he couldn't help but lean down and press a small kiss to her mouth.

"I love you," he repeated, this time softly, reverently.

She cupped his face, thumb swiping over his brow.

"I love you too."

They both shivered as he pulled out, struggling to catch their breath.

"You made a mess of me," Jyn breathed.

She rolled out of bed and Cassian was pretty sure she was trying to make a show of walking towards the refresher.

When they returned to bed, clean and tired, Jyn turned and plastered herself against his back as Cassian pulled the blanket over them.

"Let's do that again some time," she murmured.

"Date night?"

She kissed his shoulder, resting her arm over his abdomen.

"Yeah. It was nice."

Cassian smiled. He was definitely glad to hear that all of the stress—needless in the end—had paid off.

"We have all the time in the world, right?"

…

 **YAY! HAPPY ENDING FOR ONCE. And yes, Cassian is the little spoon. FIGHT ME.**

 **All feedback is much appreciated! Come say hi on my Tumblr at tiaraofsapphires!**

 **Cheers!**

 **~Tiara of Sapphires**


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